Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Please forgive me....

I am sorry for not posting the past few days. The truth is I was sick Saturday and Sunday and have been sleeping a lot due to treatment yesterday and today. Regina and I both were a little dejected. We were looking forward to a good weekend after Thursday & Friday being so good. In hind sight I am thankful to God for the good days. I am thankful for the grace He has given me to get through the "not so good days".

I started my 5 day chemo treatment yesterday. They started me on a little heavier pre meds this time and I do feel a little better. Not nearly as good as Friday but a little better than the weekend. Saturday and Sunday the only food I was able to hold down was a few bites of grits. Yesterday, I was able to eat a little rice and some sherbet (went back for 2nds on the sherbet). Today so far I have eaten a couple bites of scrambled eggs. My daughter helped cook me breakfast this morning for my birthday. I was able to eat some rice & a sliver of cake for dinner that some friends cooked for me (thanks Lisa, Diane, & Helen Rae). The nurses did give me some sodium today before I left to help with the dehydration. I have been very tired & sleepy the past couple of days. When I sleep the nausea does not bother me as bad so I am glad for the rest.

I have had a lot of down time the past couple of weeks to reflect and it is funny to me the things that we set as priorities. When everything is "good" or "normal" we try to aquire stuff... houses, cars, stuff for the kids, job promotion... all of this sometimes takes priority over everything in life. I am not saying that our job or our wanting a promotion is not important... I am just saying everything should have its place behind God and our family. Nothing should get in the way of my relationship with Jesus and my relationship with my family. I vow to change...

Thank you for keeping me and my family in your prayers - we appreciate your support!


I think what Danny is trying to say is... that it is hard sometimes to focus on the important things in our lives that really matter until the important things in our life are ALL that really matters!

It is so true - this has been a sobering process for us and we hope to live our lives differently - with new priorities!

The past few days have been tougher emotionally... I think because we had those couple of good days and we saw how good it could be. We know that is the doctors goal but for some reason we are having a difficult time acheiving it. I hate Danny has to be so sick and the hours just seem to creep by. The last 3 weeks feel like we have been in the fight for a few months. I know it is because we are starting to get tired and I think too, that we are still processing everything. From the time we found out he had cancer it was only a week before we started chemo and there were tests everyday in between. There was not much time for the reality check because you are just rolling along. All of which are a HUGE blessing from the LORD. I am so thankful things have progressed so fast and we are well on our way to beating this cancer!

I too, am thankful for the 2 good days and for Danny being able to withstand the tougher days. We are so blessed because we do have the hope at the end of the battle we will win! That makes it all so much more worthwhile and the fight a little easier!

Danny is doing better this week so far than he did with the last 5 day treatment week. If we can finish up and not spend time in the hospital we will have done much better than before. He is such a super patient. He handles everything so bravely and with such resolve. He has taught me so much the past few weeks. Yes, he really does have his sense of humor... yesterday he fell asleep on the table while we were waiting on the PA to come in to speak with us. When she came in he woke and sat in the chair. She said to him please dont get up, rest. He said "no, I need to get up I am messing up my hair". It took her by surprise, she was not sure what to say and then couldnt help but laugh. :)

We are doing well. We know there are brighter days ahead & the Lord promises He will not put more on us than we can handle. Of course, the key is to lean on Him and trust Him for our strength. It is in the tough times when I try to handle everything myself that I find I am so insufficient BUT only because in my strentgth I am weak but in the Lord's strength I am strong - He is Sufficent!

THANK YOU! We appreciate each & every one of you! We are so fortunate to have family, friends, and friends of our family & friends that care so much for us. We truly could not stay as strong & positive without your support. We know our prayer warriors are locking arms and standing tall on our behalf... thank you!



  1. God is Faithful! Yes...it often does take big storms in our lives, to actually realise what is important!
    Consider yourselves hugged!

  2. Thinking of you and wishing you well. I know you are a Survivor and God will bless you. I wish you a Happy Birthdy. My thoughts and prayers are continously with you and your family. May God Lift you up and out of this darkness. Love, Jamie MABE Fitzsimmons

  3. OOPS I need to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, since I spelled it wrong the 1st time. :-) Hope today is a great day.

  4. I am so sorry the weekend didn't go well. I thought since we hadn't heard from you, you were out on the town having a good time while you were feeling better. Hopefully this round will be better than the first.

    I am so sorry you are going through this but I hope it helps to know that your sharing this journey helps us to put things into perspective as well. I know it has made me stop and think about what is important in life. The only thing I can't live without is God and my family, everything else is just icing on the cake.

    Thanks again for sharing Danny and Regina.

  5. It is always darkest before the dawn, so just look on these dark times as a prelude to the wonderful light that is coming. I am thankful that you had some good days, and that these bad days so far haven't been as bad as the first bad days. Confused? Like the nurse and the messed up hair story, you will get it. God does have a way of reminding us of the truly important things of life-sometimes it comes through our own storms, sometimes through the storms of those we care about. Either way is not a pleasant way to learn.
    It is a privilege to be able to pray for you, and I know the prayers will be answered in God's way and His time. So many have already been answered, and it is hard to wait on all of the answers. This is what produces maturity and strengthening of our faith-a difficult process but one which will in the end be worth all of the difficulty.
    A belated happy birthday to you!

  6. Alright I'll forgive you. But remember I'm down here in the Lowcountry of SC hours away from Leland. Don't have me worrying. :-) It was great to hear from you. How much hate mail am I gonna receive for the comment I put on your facebook regarding your age. lol Btw, did you see the pic of my baby girl...She's gorgeous! I know pride is a sin; but did you see her! lol Can you tell I'm a proud Dad.
    Well this blog ain't about me it's about you. I'm glad you felt like eating a little birthday cake. And I praise the Lord you had two good days and pray that this week will be sooooo much better than the first round of chemo.
    My faith has grown in just witnessing your lifestyle and how you and Regina are handling everything. I've laughed out loud in the office with people hollering what's so funny and have also cried. I had to share the "messing up my hair" comment with the office today.
    You are really understanding the concept of God, Family then everything else. This was something Preacher B drilled into during his last few months. He made me promise that I wouldn't put the church before my family. That hasn't always been easy but I've tried to do it more and more and even though it has been scary at times God has always been there for me. We just signed a contract on a new home. We will be leaving in Bluffton, SC instead of Ridgeland. Most of the church understands and supports our decision but there are a few naysayers. The location is best for Olivia's schooling, Karen's work and gives us room if her Mom or my Mom needs to come and stay with us. A few years back when Hunter was in High School his Marching Band went to Disney for a long weekend and to participate in Disney Music Days and march in the Disney Parade. Karen, Olivia and I went with the band and we were gone over a Sunday. I felt so guilty but was so glad I had that experience with my son. You know Sunday worship happened without me. We keep things in God's order and he will prove Himself faithful.
    I pray strength for you this week. You're winning and beating this cancer. God is good, ALL THE TIME!!!!